I need to stop putting myself through this shit…
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
I laughed so hard I stopped breathingI haven’t watched this is so long. lmao
hahahaha
omg
hahahha i wish my cat did this.
I hurt from laughing so hard.
I’ve been listening to the temptations recently… and they have a lot of songs that i can really relate to… i thought about the fact that i may have been born in the wrong time era… but then i realized cars didn’t always have AC come standard.
This is a couple years over due, but it’s been eating me up inside, and I have to put it out there even though you probably wont see this.
Most of the time we spent together was made up of either love making or you trying to convince me of what an ugly person you are. At first i didn’t believe a damn word you said on the subject, but as the months passed us by, I noticed you were doing and saying things to me in order to make me hurt on purpose, and at one point I almost fell for the act. Because I forced myself to focus on the good, you eventually opened up to me more than you ever have before, and that’s when i knew that your experiences are what made you so cold and “ugly”, as you put it. But the more you opened up to me, the more you trusted me with the secrets of your past, of your present, and your plans for the future, the more I wanted to warm you up and make you feel truly beautiful; like I always knew you were.
Eventually, things were going amazing. AT least until you thought you had a reason to distrust me, and you GAVE me reasons to not trust you.
And that’s when things got complicated…
We fought (and use fought loosely, because our arguments usually consisted of you telling me off and me sitting there not saying a word) so much, but we were so incredibly attracted to each other, that we would have angry sex, and then because we had sex, we thought the fight was over and have make up sex soon after… that really fucked us up, because none of our issues were ever taken care of: our jealousies. We wanted each other for our self, but the only difference between us was that I never had a back-up plan in case we didn’t work out, which led to more of the same arguments, and causing a terribly vicious cycle.
One day you were doing your thing: drinking. And i I wanted to see you, but when we met up, you were so displeased with me that you just started criticizing me in all of my decisions for the future, my personal relationships with family, my communication skills, my INTELLIGENCE. I was being attacked. And I did the first thing that i could think of… I ran away from you. That wasn’t the biggest mistake in my life, and I don’t totally regret it, but I sometimes wish I’d have stayed.
Fast forward a few months…
I meet someone new after the worst 8-9 months of my life, and lo and behold, you pop back into my life as well. I’m glad we try to be friends this time around, but old flames have a hard time dying out sometimes. Although this time, I don’t want to get burned, so i ignore it completely, and invest everything into this new girl. This new… serious interest. I knew what i was getting into, but i went for it anyway, and got as hurt as I expected to be and then some. But for some reason, even though you found someone too, you were there for me to fall back on. And for the first time in my life I wasn’t grateful, because I was was you your back-up plan just as many times as i was your “main objective”, and you used me as an emotional crutch while still blaming me for things that I couldn’t control, and you still didn’t really WANT me…. Even now, I can still hear that heart breaking sentence in my head… “I don’t feel safe in your arms anymore”…
We did things we (you) will regret. Especially within 10 minutes of taking you to see your boyfriend. But I guess that’s just me finally giving to my “Mr.Hyde”…
so this is what I’ll leave on:
You don’t feel safe in my arms because I don’t want you in them anymore.
